I’ve been reading through some of my past posts and realised that while I’m getting closer to the TRUTH – to the essence of who I am – I’ve still got a LONG way to go yet.
So this morning, when journaling I realised I needed to go deeper, and share with you one of my earliest and most formative stories. The story of who I am.
The story of how I went from age 16, living in a high rise council flat – to having £50k per month as my current normal, with my focus on moving that to £100k per month as my new normal in the next 6 months.
I went to a good school from the age of 1l – a private girl’s school. Because at the age of 10 my teachers had spoken to my parents. I needed to be” pushed”- they said. I was clever, and extremely bored. So far ahead that they were using me as a teacher’s help because they couldn’t figure out what to teach me anymore.
I sat a number of exams and was accepted for a full scholarship – which paid half the fees (the maximum help available). My parents struggled to pay the other half of the fees but did their absolute best for me.
Our lack of cash reflected on me, in my world full of wealthy girls – I felt the lack of money keenly. As teenagers do – I worried about fitting in, having the right clothes – even begging my Dad to turn up in the nicer of our two cars. Materialistic I know. I didn’t feel as it fit in, and to this day one of my main drivers is not feeling “enough” and feeling as if I need to be more, and have more. Constantly wanting to “fit in”.
In my teenage years, I began to rebel. I had too many ideas, was too creative, I didn’t fit in. I was bright but not studious although I was naturally pretty academic. My teachers were infuriated at my ability to mess around in class constantly then study for 24 hours straight and ace my exams. What type of example did I set to the other girls, they asked? I was threatened with losing my scholarship.
At the age of 15 I decided to take my lack of cash into my own hands, walking into a shop with a “help wanted” sign – before walking back out with a Saturday job. Ask for what you want – then persuade hard. One of my mottos from a very early age.
So began my first foray into the outside world. Just after my 16th birthday, one of the staff who worked in the shop with me introduced me to one of his friends who had taking a liking to me. I babysat the staff member’s son – always keen to earn extra cash. That night his friend and I started chatting – and we rapidly became an item. It took a couple of months for my parents to figure out what was happening. They met him and took a liking to him – although unhappy about the age gap and the feeling they were “losing” their daughter (he was 23).
He worked in a pub part-time and had a whole social group of people who sat around all day playing pool in the pub. Introducing me to this lifestyle – I rapidly rebelled at school and chose instead to drop out and become part of this exciting lifestyle. School, or playing pool? Needless to say, I wanted my freedom and chose pool!
Dropping out before I was legally allowed to – I moved in with my boyfriend, destroying my parent’s hopes and dreams for my future success and beginning my “adult” life at the tender age of 16.
Falling pregnant a couple of months later, I went through a series of part-time jobs to feed myself and my boyfriend (who – by the way I haven’t mentioned yet was an alcoholic) before being sacked for stealing £10 from the till to buy some food on the way home.
16, pregnant, and I hadn’t eaten in 3 days.
Luckily – the police officer that arrested me spotted that I was actually in dire need and referred me to social services where they agreed to put me on £30 per week income support. With an alcoholic, you HAVE to be committed to buy the booze or face the wrath of them not being able to indulge their addiction. So my £30 per week income support saw me – at the age of 16 – setting aside £20 for his daily alcohol and £10 per week for food. I could feed us both 3 meals a day on £10 per day. I look back at my 16 year old self and want to hug her – I want to tell her it’s all going to be okay. There’s going to be a time when money comes SO easily to you. It won’t always be this way.
My son was born when I was 17 and I’m not going to pretend it was easy. It was an incredibly hard time – but with the support of my parents we got through the next couple of years.
I went to night school and sat a couple of A levels, enough to give me a few UCAS points that then got me into university. My son went into the university childcare from the age of 2 until 4, and I walked out with a 2:2 degree despite partying hard at university and fitting my studies around taking care of my son.
Rapidly moving through the next 19 years – working for the NHS in statistics, then going back to uni and sitting an additional degree to become a secondary school teacher before teaching in 3 different schools in 3 years – the whole time I KNEW I was made for something more. I rebelled in pretty much every job I ever had, and at various points wondered if I was even employable. I wanted to do things MY way. I had ideas and wanted to implement them NOW. It infuriated me when I could see so clearly a better way of doing things – but no one wanted to listen! Eventually I couldn’t take any more, I needed to be free. I made the leap!
So here we are today.
10 years ago this month marks my 10th anniversary of self employment. 10 years of FREEDOM to do what I want, earn whatever I want, however I want. Maybe I’ll do another post sometime filling you in on the journey of that period.
Now – I have a business that allows me to be FREE.
That allows me to express myself.
That allows me to bring in leads on autopilot as and when I choose – my true gift.
That allows me to work with amazing clients who want to express themselves and reach new audiences FAST.
And I also have the freedom to CREATE as and whenever I choose.
The freedom to REBEL and create something new.
The freedom to listen to my audience and create whatever I know they need. Instantly.
So today, a reminder to all of us.
Keep pushing. You’re made for something more. That feeling inside you – that’s your new rebellious self waiting to be unleashed. How are you going to let it out?
Now it’s your turn!
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